Velvet Elvis thoughts...

So despite the state of chaos in my house right now....sick 2 yr old, sick me, healthy 7 yr old who wants to keep daily routines....husband moving most of our stuff to the garage so it's easier on moving day next weekend...he'll be in Edmonton all week working, sigh.
So despite all this, I've been able to snatch a few late night moments to read a few pages of Velvet Elvis...and reread them and then highlight them! Here's part of the book I had to highlight, it just makes sense!
"The Bible is a communal book. It came from people writing in communities, and it was often written to communities. Remember that the printing press wasn't invented until the 1400s. Prior to that, very few if any people had their own copies of the Bible. In Jesus' day, an entire village could probably afford only one copy of the Scriptures, if that. Reading the Bible alone was unheard of, if people could even read. For most of church history, people heard the Bible read aloud in a room full of people. You heard it, discussed it, studied it, argued about it, and made decisions about it as a group, a community. Most of the "yous" in the Bible are plural. Groups of people receiving these words. So if one person went off the deep end with an interpretation or opinion, the others were right there to keep that person in check. In a synagogue, most of the people knew the text that person was talking on and already had their own opinions about it. You saw yourself and those around you as taking part in a huge discussion that has gone on for thousands of years.
Because God has spoken, and everything else is commentary.
Contrast this communal way of reading and discussing and learning with our Western, highly individualized culture. In many Christian settings, people are even encouraged to read the Bible alone, which is a new idea in church history. A great idea and a life-changing discipline, but a new idea. And think of pastors. Many pastors study alone all week, stand alone in front of the church and talk about the Bible, and then receive mail and phone calls from individuals who agree or don't agree with what they said. This works for a lot of communities, but it isn't the only way.
And it can't be the only way if we take seriously Jesus' call to be binding and loosing, which must be done in community with others who are equally passionate about being true to the words of God.
In Jesus' world, it was assumed that you had as much to learn from the discussion oft the text as you did from the text itself. One person could never get to far in a twisted interpretation because the others were right there giving her insight and perspective she didn't have on her own. Jesus said when he was talking about binding and loosing that "where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them".
Community, community, community. Together with others, wrestling and searching and engaging the Bible as a group of people hungry to know God in order to follow God.
Perhaps this is why the Bible can be confusing for some the first time they read it. I don't think any of the writers of the Bible ever intended people to read their letters alone. I think they assumed that people who were hearing these words for the first time would be sitting next to someone who was further along on her spiritual journey, someone who was more in tune with what the writer was saying. If it didn't make sense, you could stop the person who was reading and say, "Help me understand this."
When we're serious about dealing with the Bible as the communal book that it is, then we have to be honest about our interpretations. Everybody's interpretations is essentially his or her own opinion. Nobody is objective.
Several years ago I was in an intense meeting with our church's leaders in which we were discussing several passages in the Bible. One of the leaders was sharing her journey in trying to understand what the Bible teaches about the issue at hand and said something like this: "I've spent a great deal of the time recently studying this issue. I've read what the people on the one side of the issue say, and I've read what the people on the other side say. I've read the scholars and theologians and all sorts of others on this subject. But then, in the end, I decided to get back to the Bible and just take it for what it really says."
What was she really saying?
Now please understand that this way of thinking is prevalent in a lot of Christian churches, so I don't mean in any way to single her out. But this view of the Bible is warped and toxic, to say the least. The assumption is that there is a way to read the Bible that is agenda- and perspective-free. As if all these other people have their opinion and biases, but some are able to just read it for what it says.
Think about that for a moment: This perspective is claiming that a person can simply read the Bible and do what it says - unaffected by any outside influences.
But let's be honest. When you hear people say they are just going to tell you what the Bible means, it is not true. They are telling you what they think it means. they are giving their opinions about the Bible. It sounds nice to say, "I'm not giving you my opinion; I'm just telling you what it means."
The problem is, it is not true.
Obviously, we think our interpretations are the most correct; otherwise we'd change them.
Or as one of my favorite writers, Anne Lamott, put it, "Everyone thinks their opinion is the right one. If they didn't, they'd get a new one."
The idea that everybody else approaches the Bible with baggage and agendas and lenses and I don't is the ultimate in arrogance. To think that I can just read the Bible without reading any of my own culture or background or issues into it and come out with a "pure" or "exact" meaning is not only untrue, but it leads to a very destructive reading of the Bible that robs it of its life and energy." pgs 51-54 of Velvet Elvis.

This was such an eye opener for me...it makes sense! I serve a God that is all about relationships! And when we are living in community, relationships happen! The kind of relationships I love are the ones that are transparent and open, without fear of rejection when our weaknesses show!!! And being open enough to accept correction when it is needed! I'm not too proud to admit to my weaknesses!! I JUST want God to be King and Ruler in my heart and sometimes that means others need to point out a few things that I have just become comfortable with! Like my language...I still have this tendency to swear every now and then...when wanting to emphasize my words or when I'm simply frustrated and angry...I'm not proud of it but it IS something I'm working on and was just reminded this week of how it DOES bother some people! Like my mom, for example! lol
II Timothy 3: 16-17 says, "All Scripture is God Breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." That's what I want...to be thoroughly equipped for every good work! So to me that means that I need to be open to correction, especially if others come to me with Scripture to back up their issues with me, and the Scripture is not taken out of context!

Anyhow, why I'm talking about this? It's because I think that if we are living in close community with others, this kind of transparency is needed in order to make it work right...so that once a weakness is shown, others in the community can encourage us and pray for us. It's not meant to shame one another but to love and help each other to overcome those areas of weakness!!!

I'm sure I'll have more Velvet Elvis thoughts the farther I get in the book...but right now this is where I'm at!

Accusations...should they affect me??

What an interesting time I had yesterday...felt accused of wrong doing by our roommate as well as our landlord... sigh, yet interestingly, I know neither of the accusations were legitimate and both were done in a manipulative way. Why is all this game playing being brought to light right now? I hate game playing, I have no time for it, and now I'm being bombarded with it! Am I supposed to learn how to play the stupid mind games? or just call people on it and just say, "Sorry, bark up someone else's tree if you want to play games!"....oy....I was just starting to feel more relaxed when the emails showed up...within hours of each other...I was really nice and mature and wrote back replies, but sent them to my husband instead of them...lol He was giggling over the phone as he read them on the computer...sigh...he liked what I wrote, as it spoke for how we both feel, but I can't imagine actually sending them, they are very blunt about what's what, and I called them both on the lies put forth in the emails. I actually WILL likely send the one to the landlord because according to the research I've been doing, he has no legal grounds to keep our damage deposit or withhold payment of the receipts we submitted to him and we DO have legal grounds to leave early... In the case of our roommate a wise woman suggested to just agree to disagree and not even dignify the email with a reply. Which is so hard for me to do! I want to be understood, and it drives me nuts when I don't get that! But perhaps it's time to just let go, and let God do whatever He has in mind to do....I've done all I can. And really, I need God's validation, not mans! So this is another area I'm being stretched in...I don't really care what people think about our different lifestyle, yet when it comes to my character, I DO still care deeply about what people think...but should I??
I think the only people that should have any influence in how I feel about myself are the people I've given permission to speak into my life and point things out that don't line up with God's Word...which is what I gave the members of Faith in Action permission to do, our homegroup...and then of course I'd take the criticism and bring it before God and seek His guidance in dealing with said flaw in my life, usually the Holy Spirit either convicts me right away or shows me that that person is speaking out of their own woundings...I love Holy Spirit, He doesn't coddle me, but shows me when I DO have some areas that need pruning, and it never feels good! But in the end, I'm so much happier! I just want my understandings and beliefs to change and line up with God's truth, and they will the more I read His word and bounce off my interpretations with other people! Which brings me to a whole 'nuther, blog entry! These thoughts to be con't!!!

Oh and good news on the house we want! We are the favorable candidate to get it, but they have to just locate a place for the guy who applied before us...I hope they find a place soon! lol I'm itching to get address changes out and all the utilities changed over etc! I'm so excited for this move, it's like Christmastime all over again!

Is that a light I see???

I'm sure I see it! the light at the end of a tunnel! We got word back today that we are approved for the house we like in Chaparral, it's still a rental, but we're so excited to get away from our current landlords! lol This is what our house will look like March 1st, except with lots of boxes and furniture inside!! The only hold up is that another guy applied for this house as well as another house in Chaparral, both are the same rental price, both are nice, and we are approved for either of them as well...hopefully he'll pick the one that isn't our first choice...which is this one.
But we'd be happy with either one, they both have different perks we liked. So we are moving for sure on the March 1st weekend. No more craziness and wondering if I should pack or not! lol YES I SHOULD PACK! lol thank goodness most of it is pretty much done, it's just a matter of sorting out what is Holly's and what's ours and keeping it separate....which won't be hard since the basement is empty...still ready for the carpet dudes...lol
So that's the update....I think the next update will be a 34 wk belly shot...lol

About to become unglued...

I want to just sit down and cry. I feel like there MUST be something I'm supposed to learn right now but can't seem to figure out what! We spent all weekend clearing out the basement so the landlords could get the carpets done. They told us we were going to get both the basement and upstairs replaced back in January and then they went back on their words and said they'd do the upstairs a couple months later when I'm about to have my baby! So when we told them that they couldn't go back on their word because of the baby being due then, they said fine, we won't change any carpets at all...I'm tired.
I'm still waiting to hear back from Pastor Lorne and Vince to give us counsel on how best to resolve our roomate issues. I don't think stress is good for baby right now...or me. I feel numb, not knowing what to do about anything, and on top of all that Jamie is in Edmonton for the week. I don't know how much more grace and patience I can keep throwing around...I think I'm going to go and dance and worship with the kids for a while until our company comes in 20 min....I need to just let God be God and lead us without me understanding or knowing what's going on...is that what I'm supposed to learn how to do? It sucks.

Protecting Family

I just want to share what a very wise woman reminded me of today. I had sent out a prayer request to my homeschool support group and so much of what she said in her reply were things I had forgotten or didn't think were valid enough reasons to guard and protect our family life. My heart's desire is to help people when I see a need and I often go overboard in this...my husband is often very good at keeping me grounded, except in this case. God placed in our hearts a desire to live in community and we thought we knew what that meant and that it was something we were to start doing immediately! Whooops....we invited our housegroup leader to move in with us, thinking this was the first step to living in community...she couldn't afford rent and we wanted to help her get out of debt. But we failed to communicate well, what was expected of her in leiu of rent, and there were tons of other issues as well that we're now dealing with, that could have been completely avoided, had we heard/remembered what my friend wrote below....
Anyhow, this is what she had to say about Family.....
"I know you meant well by this - you really wanted to help someone out. But sometimes we have to know how best to help.
I would strongly urge you to study the Word and what God says about family. The family is God's idea and it is an hugely important institution. (that word sounds so important!) and it is. Family groups also have a chain of command system and this whole thing helps to build strong healthy societies. You and Jamie are a family. You can ADOPT someone into your family, and they in turn, will come under Jamie's authority, but you cannot have two families live side by side in the same territory. This roommate - lady - sounds like she has not come under the authority of you and Jamie - and in a way, is establishing her own house in your territory. You mentioned that she is the leader of your house church. Again, what does the Bible say about church, and church leadership and qualifications of church leadership and rules for church organization. Check out Timothy, Titus and Peter. All of the teaching on the order of family and the order of church, when followed, helps to build an orderly society.
Years ago we had a similar situation. My husband was very involved in evanglism. In the course of his work, an lady came to know Jesus. She needed much discipleship and so we became friends with her. She often visited our home. And slowly things changed. She started to clean and rearrange our home. She started to cook and alter our diet. She wanted to give advice about child raising. We had wanted to "adopt" her into our family/home, and take her under our wing. She had other plans. And so we had a talk about told her that hubby was the authority in our home and that hubby and myself ran this home - and she was a welcome guest but had no authority in the home... Around that time, God transfered us to a different city and she also moved away to another city. I think any time you allow someone into your home like this you need to set very clear and distinct boundaries about authority and responsibilities.
I grew up in a tight intact family - two parents and siblings.
My husband grew up with a more open home - two parents, one of whom lived away from home at times, and siblings. But the mom in the home also freely adopted children from the block. She was very willing to feed other people's kids, give home and shelter to other people's kids. She even took in a Bible school student (male) at a time when her husband was off working in another province. What a horrible horrible mistake. This male student soon took over the role of father and gave out spankings!! it was an absolute nightmare. My husband has told me all these things and felt his home was not protected and it was not a safe place. His parents were far to free to help and reach out to others that they forgot that they had their own children to protect and teach and mentor. My husband says he feels neglected. His mom also took in stray cats as quickly as stray kids.....it's interesting to hear what the kids say about it all. None of them speak honorably about their mom's tendencies. There is a spiritual gift called mercy. I have a SIL and a neice who both have the spiritual gift of mercy. My dh's mother had the gift of mercy. I have talked about this with my SIL who is my good friend. People who have the gift of mercy can get themselves in trouble quite easily because they have trouble setting boundaries about who or how much to help. They tend to want to reach out to "those out there" who are hurting, and tend to overlook those right in their own homes and families who need mercy and help. My SIL knows that for her to excercise her spiritual gift, she needs to work along side a person who has the gift of discernment and wisdom. She knows she can easily get unbalanced in this area and bring much harm into their family.
The family unit is sacred. Guard it carefully. The family unit (mom and dad and their kids) is God's perfect plan for living in this world. Sadly, our world is fallen and there are people who do not have a family to belong to. That is where adoption comes in. I'm not talking about legal adoption. I'm talking about taking a person into your life to help them feel like their belong to a family group. It might be a lonely senior that you invite for supper from time to time, or pick up and take out for grocery shopping.
I would caution anyone about taking a person into your home - think very clearly before you do that - it's like breaching the dike. If you do, have very clear defined boundaries about length of stay, responsibilities and lines of authority.
Lori-Dawn, I'm sorry this has turned out so badly for you. I know you meant to do well and good. But I have been concerned even since you announced your pregnancy. Something very sacred is happening in your home - God is bringing a new member into this family. A new sibling and a new child. In a way, an enlarging of your tent. God is placing another little one into your care and mentorship. This is a special time as a family, and I don't know how you make these changes and work on these expanding bonds with a non-family member in the nest. I know I would find it very hard.I will pray that God will help you resolve this issue."

Wow, eh? So full of wisdom...now why couldn't she have sent that email to me BEFORE we had the roomate...lol We have learned a lot though...we DIDN'T have set boundaries before. And we didn't put our family first...we saw a need and wanted to help...it's neat to see this as a gift of mercy. I really have wondered often where my giftings are...I certainly don't see them, but I do recognize the gift of mercy as one of my gifts...and discernment is one of my husbands!
When we DO get to the point of living in community we now know that families need to be living in seperate dwelling places, in order to protect our individual families and live according to what God has put in place. I'm sure I'll have more thoughts on all of this once we talk with our pastor about all the issues we've been having...yes, it's gotten bad enough, that we really don't know what to do and have asked him for counsel...even HE said it's pretty bad and is seeking counsel with another pastor in the church...lol I know this isn't a failure, because we HAVE learned lots! For starters, we learned that family comes before "helping others so you feel good", we learned that we somehow allowed a slumbering spirit into our home and it has been having it's way for the past couple of months...we are ready to get back on track and start praying together again as a couple and do some major spiritual house cleaning in our home and doing some heavy duty battle against all wrong attitudes that have arisen since our roomate issues began.
Anyhow, that's where I'm at this week....I feel peace today after spending some time at the piano and just worshipping the Lord and submitting to His will in my life. My biggest cry right now, is Your will be done in all this Lord, not mine! Lead us, whether it's comfortable or not! Mould us into who You've called us to be! Prune us, even though it really sucks and hurts sometimes! We DO want this!! I've always wondered if I was doing any growing spiritually when I'm satisfied with life...when I'm happy and completely content...I think it's possible, but I KNOW that I KNOW I'm in a growth spurt when things get shaky and uncomfortable and I'm being challenged in what I believed to be true...because our beliefs and God's truth are NOT always the same!!!